Flirting With Lesbians….and more

Posts tagged ‘timing’

What Now?

Thx for your advice my dear friend, but now i have another question:

what do i do now???

 

Here’s the story:

we were getting to know each other (actually we are getting to know each other) and we go out a lot, we visite each other
and things like that, you know.

The other day i was at her place (with an invitation, of course) watching TV in her room……..i swear i don’t want her
just to have sex, i really like her and i’m really really really starting to fall deeply in love……………

 

anyway, we were watching TV when she just held me tenderly, ***!!!!

 

i swear i thought that was the day i was going to get an answer

but she just looked me right into my eyes, told me “i think i love you”

and kissed me.

 

You told me to keep my distance and to be patient, well, i’ve been patient and i haven’t forced anything, so i asked her after the kiss if we were a couple yet

(’cause i don’t want just a “good friend”, you know)

and she said no.  So please tell me, now what??

what if she’s playing with me or just fooling around or maybe she feels good that somebody likes her that much and she’s enjoying it. I don’t know what to do, you have to help me please!!

RE: I don’t know what to do!!

ANSWER

Well, clearly your patience has paid off a bit, she’s inviting you over, and
kissing you.
So, while you may not be a *couple*, you are *dating*. That is a step above
a friend, but not quite the *girlfriend* ranking that you’re after.

It could be that she’s wanting to avoid doing the lesbian U-haul thing – you
meet, you like, and suddenly you’re moved in and joined at the hip and bank
account.

But, at the same time, she’s giving lots of mixed messages like “I think I love
you.” At this point, I’d say she’s given you the go ahead to initiate the kisses,
hugs, gropes and cuddles.

Sometimes relationships take a while to go from dating to exclusive
couplehood to being the living together joined at the hip/bank account in the
long haul.

Now, she’s just come out of a relationship, but I don’t think you mentioned
whether or not you’ve been in a relationship before.

It could be that she’s testing you to see if you’d stick around for the long
haul, or it could be that she’s just wanting to go slow – the first part of a
relationship development can be fun and romantic and it’s a phase you never
get to repeat – the longing, the self denial, the going partway and building the
desire to a fevered pitch.

I would like to think that right now, she’s just trying to get her bearings and
get a handle on her feelings about a new relationship starting and to put
away all the old feelings about the breakup with her ex.

Unless, she’s giving you some other vibes – like that she’s just toying with
you – give her the benefit of the doubt.

But feel free to call her first and make plans for get togethers.
If you have enough of the “low pressure” dates, you’ll be a couple before you
know it without the fanfare or official declaration, and you’ll realize it in
retrospect.

Getting to GGG

 

Dating is about finding someone who will be sexually, intellectually, spiritually and/or what ever other areas of compatibility that are important to you.

While it’s good to be sexually self aware and it’s important – if you can’t tell your partner what really turns you on, then you need to reconsider how successful that relationship is going to be.

IF this is what you want, then it’s not a given in the early days. this kind of trust takes time on so many levels.

from sharing your fantasies to getting to act them out.

some will never be as good in reality as they are in your head

some will be better, some will lose their appeal and you will discover new ones

it’s about both people sharing and getting their needs met – giving and receiving, topping and bottoming

and most importantly, both people with a safeword that stops everything until it’s okay to proceed further.

it’s about knowing your partner so intimately to know and anticipate boundaries and when they can be pushed and when they need to be respected, even revered.

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