Flirting With Lesbians….and more

Posts tagged ‘bisexual’

Poly, D/L or just a cheater?

 

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Q: Am I Being Cheated On?

 

 

but you know, holding hands and comforting people is a natural and a platonic possibility.

 

We all need a human touch – whether that’s sex or cuddling or just a hug from a freind.

 

It’s part of our emotional and physical health to hear or feel other people’s hearts beating against our own heart beat.

 

it’s partly how we transfer love and affection to each other and there are many kinds of love and many ways of expressing affection appropriately across those relationships and the emotional quality and depth between people.

 

It all comes back to being in a relationship with someone who wants to make you happy as a normal part of their day.

 

not someone who is willing to cause you worry and distress passive agressively or more active in the hurtful factors.

 

and if you aren’t wanting to make them happy either, well, you have to ask yourself. how does that serve you or them or anyone around you?

 

It gets better is not just a project to stop gay youth from suicide and it’s not just a promise to them and anyone on that path that it can and does get better – but that it gets better is a choice that you have to make.

 

Sometimes, you have to remake it every day or make it several times a day. it’s all good. it’s all fits and start and do-overs.
and it starts with valuing yourself enough to know that it’s better to be single and love yourself in whatever ways you want to interpret that.

 

than to be in a relationship that does not bring out the absolute best parts of yourself.

Who is in and out

it occurs to me that sometimes people need to have an external permission to be what they are

partly because I have been asked by several people for permission about them expressing their sexuality

I have given several men permission to be gay and a few women permission to be bisexual

Not that I have any power or ability or authority at all

but I still get asked and somehow, my granting permission has power because they give it power

I discovered this in an uncomfortable way

a lesbian pal of mine asked my advise – she had met a man who had all the qualities that she wanted in a woman and she just didn’t know what to do

I told her to consider whether it was the man or the qualities that he embodied were what was attractive

she said she wasn’t sure

I told her to let go of her hang up of gender and if these were qualities that she wanted in a partner and he was interested, then why not date him?

she was concerned about her lesbian identity and whether dating a man would mean that she wasn’t or couldn’t be again

I suggested that worrying about these things could prevent her from ever being happy in a relationship, so she had to decide which was more important – her lesbian identity or a happy relationship

SHe ended up dating him – a few weeks later, they threw a party and I was invited.

I liked the man very much on the spot – he was a science fiction geek who owned and ran a comic book store – but was a kind, funny and gentle man.

He asked to speak privately with me. Curious, I followed him outside

He thanked me for giving my friend permission to date him

I thought he was winding me up, because, seriously, I do not have that kind of power or control or authority; so I said, “well, I can take it away anytime”

and laughed

He nearly burst into tears – I was horrified that he actually thought I really had that power more than that I would used it badly –

other scenarios have been a lot lighter – several men were concerned about what women would think of them if they were gay – so I pointed out that if they were gay that women were not relevant to them – which seemed to be a great relief

because seriously, why would it matter what anyone that you weren’t in a relationship thinks of you?

Bye Bi Discrimination

Elvis and the Gay Community

 

Mentoring and Coaching

Not A Phase

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