Flirting With Lesbians….and more

what now?

Q

Thx for your advice my dear friend, but now i have another question: what do i do now??? Here’s the story: we were getting to know each other (actually we are getting to know each other) and we go out a lot, we visit each other and things like that, you know.

The other day i was at her place (with an invitation, of course) watching TV in her room……..i swear i don’t want her just to have sex, i really like her and i’m really really really starting to fall deeply in love……………anyway, we were watching TV when she just held me tenderly, ***!!!! i swear i thought that was the day i was going to get an answer but she just looked me right into my eyes, told me “i think i love you” and kissed me.

You told me to keep my distance and to be patient, well, i’ve been patient and i haven’t forced anything, so i asked her after the kiss if we were a couple yet (’cause i don’t want just a “good friend”, you know) and she said no.

So please tell me, now what?? what if she’s playing with me or just fooling around or maybe she feels good that somebody likes her that much and she’s enjoying it. I don’t know what to do, you have to help me please!!

A

Well, clearly your patience has paid off a bit, she’s inviting you over, and kissing you. So, while you may not be a *couple*, you are *dating*. That is a step above a friend, but not quite the *girlfriend* ranking that you’re after.

It could be that she’s wanting to avoid doing the lesbian U-haul thing – you meet, you like, and suddenly you’re moved in and joined at the hip and bank account. But, at the same time, she’s giving lots of mixed messages like “I think I love you.”

At this point, I’d say she’s given you the go ahead to initiate the kisses, hugs, gropes and cuddles. Sometimes relationships take a while to go from dating to exclusive couplehood to being the living together joined at the hip/bank account in the long haul.

Now, she’s just come out of a relationship, but I don’t think you mentioned whether or not you’ve been in a relationship before. It could be that she’s testing you to see if you’d stick around for the long haul, or it could be that she’s just wanting to go slow -the first part of a relationship development can be fun and romantic and it’s a phase you never get to repeat -the longing, the self denial, the going partway and building the desire to a fevered pitch.

I would like to think that right now, she’s just trying to get her bearings and get a handle on her feelings about a new relationship starting and to put away all the old feelings about the breakup with her ex. Unless, she’s giving you some other vibes -like that she’s just toying with you -give her the benefit of the doubt. But feel free to call her first and make plans for get togethers. If you have enough of the “low pressure” dates, you’ll be a couple before you know it without the fanfare or official declaration, and you’ll realize it in retrospect.

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