Flirting With Lesbians….and more

Q: Wrong or Crazy Part II

Q

First let me begin by saying that I appreciate your honesty and candor..both
good and bad points..you are very special indeed..and its almost Kismet that
I was “guided” towards you..

Yes, I am married, but my husband, for years has always told me to “go and
get a girlfriend”, but I truly feel its a male ego thing about “two women
getting it on”. If I were to have a relationship I would want it to be for me
and me alone..discreet..something for me to treasure..I know..too idealist
huh??? Am I living in dreamland to think I can live a duo life? I know people
who do and are very happy..

I will say that I did get a little scared about “witches and bitches”, but then
again when you put it in perspective, aren’t  men that way also??? “Same game, different actors”..Just know that your  previous relationships are no different than men/women one..

I am glad that you have found security and inner peace with your
life-partner, and I wish you happiness and joy and all that you could ever hope
for..

Thanks again for taking time out for a complete stranger..I truly appreciate
it..

A

When I originally posted the flirting 101 site, I hadn’t expected to get letters.
But I respect that it takes a big risk to reach out to someone, and that the issues we face as women, as lesbians, as bis, as whatever and where ever we are in our lives, deserves a respectful and honest answer.

Of course, I’ve had a few off colour e-mails, and they just get a “thank you
for the offer, but, as I said on the site, I am not available for personal
encounters.”

I know that some people come out thinking that the gay community is this all
embracing, friendly place, and it can be. But there are bad parts too, as you
need to go in with eyes and ears open. The ones to avoid make themselves
pretty obvious.

You husband is, at least on the surface, okay with your feelings. So, take that
as permission and go out there. And don’t tell him, don’t introduce him to the
new women in your life.

This is about your feelings, not his genetically programmed fantasy of
watching two girls perform for him.

Don’t hold yourself back with regrets of shoulda, woulda, coulda, you made
the best choices that you could at the time, in those moments. You don’t get
any do overs, just do next’s.

What’s important now, is how you go on with your life.

You just need to give yourself permission now.

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Comments on: "Q: Wrong or Crazy Part II" (2)

  1. I’m also bi, in a het marriage, and my husband is OK with me dating women. (No, he doesn’t want to watch; he just wants me to be happy and fulfilled.) I don’t want to leave my H; I just want a GF. I’ve found that as long as I’m up front, from the beginning, about my situation when I meet a potential girl to date (all on-line), that they’ve been fine with going out with me. I’ve had a couple nice FWB situations this way. So, to the original poster: no, it’s not impossible. Just put yourself out there.

    • Thanks – I think it’s helpful for people to know that open relationships can and do work – as long as everyone’s upfront and honest about their boundaries.

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