Flirting With Lesbians….and more

Archive for October, 2010

Where to Flirt

Where are the flirting opportunities?

Any where women are.

Just make your opening conversation appropriate to your surroundings:

For example, at the supermarket, you might try: “How ripe do you think these tomatoes are, really?” While holding them up, creatively, for display.

But vague flirts like that can be misinterpreted. I say, flirt with something a little more direct, but still allows you to save some face, like:

“Do you think the expiry date on whipping cream means you should lick it off before midnight or do you think that it’s more of a ballpark deadline?”

At lesbian bars, I’ve found my best success with a simple “Don’t you find Lesbian bars really unfriendly?”

If they laugh, you’re in, if not, then they’re not some you want to date anyway.

In fact, showing your sense of humour is a great way to screen your dates, do you really want to wind up with someone who doesn’t get your sense of humour? Or worse, someone totally humourless?

Are there places I shouldn’t flirt?

With the possible exception of with the Bride at the wedding, basically any woman is fair game wherever you encounter them.

But again, possible exception, after all, if the Bride seems remotely hesitant walking down the aisle, then you shouldn’t hesitate; after all, there’s got to be a reason, right?


Am I A Lesbian?


Confused in Jersey writes:

Well, I am 19 years old and I love to watch women have sex
and I love looking at their bodies it just turns me on but I have a boyfriend
and I don’t know if I should tell him.

I don’t know if this means I like women or what. I never really thought about being with a woman until my best friend who is like my little sister told me that she was a lesbian 3 years ago.

Now my mind has been wondering. I don’t know what to do.  I don’t know why but they seem more interesting than a man. please tell me what u think so I can have a better idea on what’s going on. I haven’t told any body about what I am feeling.

Lezflirt answers:

The short and dirty answer:
Women turn you on. Does this mean you’re a lesbian? Maybe.

You have a boyfriend. You didn’t say whether he or men in general turn you
on. If he and other men do, you are probably bi.

If he and other men don’t, then you are probably a lesbian.

The more involved reply:

Talk to your lesbian friend, she knows you, knows your boyfriend, your
family, your town, and best of all she’s been through this herself.

Decide what is important to you first – continuing your current relationship OR
exploring your desires for other women.

If you decide that your current relationship is not something that you are not
prepared to lose, then you’ll need to stop processing this.

You get to decide whether or not you want to have sex with another woman – but it’s your boyfriend’s choice whether he stays in the relationship with you while you sort out your feelings.

If you decide that you need to find out if you’ve just got fantasies that are fun
to play in your head during sex or masturbation, or real desires to be with
women;  then you also need to talk to your boyfriend.

Remember, sometimes a fantasy can rock your world during sex, but actually acting it out may not be as fun as you fantasized.

He may agree to a break, during which you both see other people, he may
agree to keep seeing you and you can see other women, or he might just
break it off. He’ll be hurt, and angry, maybe curious, maybe he even knows
you’re a lesbian on some deeper level. You’ll need to be prepared for these

I don’t know him, but some men also get violent. You know him
best, I just want you to be careful and safe and aware of the dangers.

And when you talk to him, DO NOT let him pressure you into a menage a trois
(three way) so that you can explore your sexual feelings and it “not be
cheating because you are both there”.

Three ways are very complex negotiations emotionally, and this is about your sexual feelings and not his genetically programmed fantasy. (I don’t know why, but every straight guy I’ve ever known has had the fantasy of him and two girls).

You want your first time to be you and another woman you at least like,
because it’s going to be fun, exhilarating, and a little bit scary, and totally

Why You Should Flirt

The two most compelling reasons to flirt are:

  1. You’re breathing
  2. She’s breathing

Flirting is the best means to a lovely end: Dates!

Dates = Dinner! Movies! Slow walks in soft rain! Watching a cool sunset on a warm beach! Dancing! Stimulating conversations and nervous systems!

Not convinced? More reasons to flirt:

  • Increase your heart rate
  • Build your self-confidence
  • Have fun (yes, fun!)
  • Get dates and/or have sex
  • Make new friends
  • Practice! Practice! Practice!

Reasons not to Flirt

Should You Flirt with Straight Women?

The Straight Debate

Should you flirt with a women you don’t know is a lesbian?


Do men worry about what if the woman is a lesbian?

No. Many men consider lesbianism to be little more than a challenge or at least an opportunity to watch or have a threesome.

My theory is, if you think you’re a lesbian, then you’ve done some thinking. So, hitting on straight women is just giving them something to think about.

You have nothing to lose. At worse, you get a little practice in, and at best, you may get a new friend for the night.

If you want to limit your flirting to other lesbians, try wearing a lapel pin, jewelry or anything that’s an obvious to us gay symbol but that straight folks tend to think we just like leprechauns…


Lez Flirt World!

Flirting is not something we’re automatically good at.

It’s a learning process of trial and error – especially trial and mostly error.

For lesbians, there’s a challenge that straight people and gay men don’t face which is that women tend to be socialized to wait to be flirted with.

Which is frustrating when every gal in the room is waiting for any other waiting gal in the room to make a move.

People it seems are not so different from sheep – when female sheep are amorous, they stand still and wait for the male to make a move.

So how can you know if the female sheep is straight or gay when standing still is how you make your intentions known.

I say, cast off your woolly exterior and get out there to flirt!

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